an angel

Throughout the last 9 months, we have gone through so many emotions.

Excitement.

Terror.

Joy.

Anxiety.

Happiness.

Fear.

Thankfulness.

Anger.

Repeat.

It's a good thing that parenting is super easy, and all those scary emotions go away once the baby is born.

that's not right, is it?

{Something tells me this is just the tip of the iceberg.}

There is one incredibly mixed emotion that has been a constant throughout this pregnancy.

Bittersweet.

Every ultrasound, every milestone, every video of kicking (or what I think is really wrestling practice), and every gift opened brings so much happiness that we want to share with our loved ones.  But there will always be a soft sadness knowing that we can't share it with Casey's Grandma.  

Meg was always talking about grandkids, even before Devin and I were engaged.  She was wonderful with kids, but especially babies.  She could put them to sleep like nobody's business, a quality that she shared with my precious momma.  At church, babies were just drawn to her, and her bright smile could make them giggle and squeal.  I always imagined the incredible excitement that would come from her face when we told her we were having a baby.  

Even though she isn't physically here, it isn't hard to remind myself of all the ways that she has impacted us and Casey, and will continue to do so until we see her again.  Devin is just like his mom, and I am so thankful!  He displays her love for kids and babies.  He has a kindness for others that is unmatched, even when people are rude and hurtful to him.  He is always trying to keep the peace with everyone, but manages to do so without compromising his beliefs.  

She is also with us through pictures, journals, her Bible, and other precious mementos.  Casey knows his Grandma Stewart already because of the book we made, and we can't wait to tell him all the funny and sweet memories we have with her.

So when I'm tempted to think about how easy and wonderful life would be if she were here, and how heartbreakingly sad it is that she isn't here for each moment,  I remind myself that I am more blessed than most daughter-in-laws, just by the few shorts years I had with her.  I remind myself that Devin is blessed to have been raised by such a loving and precious woman.  And I remind myself that Casey is so incredibly blessed that God made his Grandma Stewart a one of a kind grandma...an angel.